Regarding the brothers seeming distrust of Yosef after their father’s death
This general thought has been bubbling around in my head for a while. At first glance it may seem that the topic is better suited for ויחי, but it’s related to this parsha as I will detail below.
After Yaakov’s death, the brothers have this concern that Yosef has secretly been harboring hatred towards them, but has deferred vengeance while their father was alive. Once Yaakov had passed however, there wouldn’t be sufficient reason for him to withhold payback. This thought on it’s own seems to be natural, given that he had suffered greatly following their actions. I do have a couple of questions on that though.
One question is not so difficult, but I think bears mentioning. Given that Yosef did not actually hold anything against his brothers, it seems reasonable that in the 17 years since they moved down to Mitzrayim he didn’t show any indication that he bore them any enmity. A second question is that the way that he behaved when he revealed himself (crying, hugging and kissing) should have clearly indicated that he was not upset with them. This could be answered in a couple of ways. One just based on reason is that the brothers presumably witnessed Yosef hiding his actual thoughts and feelings from those around him on a constant basis when interacting with the Egyptians. This would mitigate or even negate any confidence that they might have had in the behaviors he presented. (I believe that there are mephorshim that address this and discuss that he had possibly withdrawn from them at some point and they saw this as a sign of a change of heart. I have not yet looked into that.)
I would like to propose an additional point that could have indicated to them that something wasn’t right with the way that Yosef interacted with them. At least twice in this week’s parsha Yosef stresses that the famine is going to last for another 5 years and uses this as a basis to bring all of them down to Mitzrayim. However, there is a Chazal that the famine ended at the end of 2 years due to Yaakov’s merit. A basic reading of the end of the parsha seems to indicate this as well. When relating the details of what occurred in Egypt socioeconomically during the famine, the Torah indicates 2 years of people bargaining for the purchase of food. In the 3rd year Yosef opens the storehouses for them to sow grain, which indicates that the famine had ended.
From the brothers’ perspective, Yosef’s insistence on them coming down was due to a continued famine. However, not so long after they come down the famine ends. (There is indication from the Torah that Yosef was still providing them with food. However, even if this continued beyond the famine years, this would not have settled the issue of bringing them on the claim of continued famine.)
To the brothers, it may have seemed suspicious that Yosef was so insistent on them coming down because of five more years of famine, only for the famine to end abruptly shortly after their arrival. Whatever other indications that there might have been, my feeling is that this alone is sufficient to be concerned about Yosef’s intentions.
Takeaway
רבות מחשבות בלב איש ועצת ה’ היא תקום
Yosef had every reason to believe that the famine would continue. He had no way of knowing that the famine was going to end early. There are many times that we have good reason to expect something and tell other people to make decisions based on that understanding. And then suddenly things fall through and we’re left holding the handbag.
From one side we can attempt to be דן לכף זכות and discuss with the person why they thought what they thought and why things fell through. And even if it’s an actual mistake on their part, we don’t need to consider it deception. Everyone makes mistakes, without exception.
From the other side, if we’re being accused of being deceitful, we should try to take a step back and understand that the other person likely feels hurt and understand that they are coming from a legitimate perspective. With that understanding we should try to shelve our ego for the moment and work with them in an amicable manner. And if we can assist them in recovering from the detriment resulting from our guidance, so much the better.
Again, I haven’t really looked into many mephorshim on this yet and this is mainly conjecture on my part. But, as always, it’s just the idea.